Why wont these days just go away?

Hardest week of my life last week. I thought maybe it'd be over and everything would be good again. People always tell me... trust me, it gets better. But right now it really doesn't even seem close. Why can't I just go home for one week. Seriously that would cure everything. They say oh you wouldn't want to come back but honestly it would make my exchange year so much easier. People can only help so much. It's like no one understands what I'm going through. When I was back at home I never cried for things like this. Now I can't be at the dinner table with out tearing up and about to burst into tears. I was told this was going to be a very hard year , but I didn't think THIS hard. I just need to go home fix one very important thing and everything would be perfect. I'd give anything to go home just for a few days. Not go home for good just a little. I know if I went home I would regret it so much. I hate the feeling of not knowing whats going to happen what others are thinking and why you cant change something for the better. I just sit here questioning my self "what if i never did that?" "would i be in the situation right now?". And its funny cause I wouldn't be... it was because of one horrible mistake I cant seem to put behind me. It just keeps coming back up. I just want things to be how they were before I left. I was always so happy and enjoying every moment. Why cant that be now?! Sorry for the rant. Its just how I'm feeling and maybe its important for people to know about an exchange year and how its not all rainbows and butterflies. UGH.